The weather is hot and the cocktails are cold

So, I guess it's now officially summer.  Well, maybe not actually summer according to silly dates, but in Florida, we only have like two seasons anyway, and if its above 90 degrees with thunderstorms in the afternoon, it's indisputably summertime.  What's great about summer (for a lot of people, anyway) is that it means a genuine reprieve of social and educational responsibility.  Not to say that everyone quits their jobs and stops taking classes, but everyone at least scales things back a little bit (unless they are clinically retarded).  So, tis the season to spend your entire friday getting wasted from sunrise to...well sunrise again.  In fact, I'm debating on whether I should do that today.  I know I'm going to get a hot dog in a bit, but aside from that, the world is my oyester today!  Especially because the oyester, I've always considered to be the biggest alcoholic of shellfish.  But I digress; here is a bit of a summer drinking style guide, for those of you eager for my opinion.

What to Drink This Summer, Pt 1:  Breakfast

Bloody Mary:  The bloody mary, for me anyway, is the premium wake up cocktail.  The mix of tomato juice, vodka, celery, and everything else is great for a "hair of the dog" hangover cure, and it goes particularly well with scrambled eggs or a garden/southwest omelet with salsa.  There are two x-factor ingredients in bloody marys that separate them from the crowd.  The first is the type of vodka you use.  Tomato juice acts like many other fruit juices, in that it works to kill the harsh bite of the vodka.  This makes cheap vodka a viable alternative to anything good, so don't bother making a fancy grey goose mary, because you won't really taste the difference.  If you do go with expensive vodka, however, Absolut Peppar is the way to go.  Adds a great bite to it.  Secondly, celery salt is absolutely essential to a solid bloody mary.  Much like celery salt turns a chicago hot dog from something pedestrian to something amamzing, it does the exact same thing with bloody marys.  No bloody mary is complete without it.

Screwdriver: Another fixture of the morning alcoholic.  Thanks to Orange juice, this is also a great breakfast cocktail.  However, it doesn't quite mix as well with eggs as the bloody mary does, so you should probably drink this when you are eating other breakfast foods, such as pancakes, french toast, waffles, Count Chocula, etc.  A lot of people consider screwdrivers acceptable drinks at night, but you pretty much look like a horrendous creep if you are drinking orange juice that late at night.  The only exception is if you are at a really lame house party, and that is all they have to mix it with.  

Joose/Sparks/Tilt:  A bit of a curve ball, in that most people consider these drinks that 13 year olds pound late at night behind the movie theater dumpster.  But Joose/Sparks/Tilt (in that order of importance) has taken on a whole new role, particularly with the development of the energy drink generation as alcohol imbibers.  What is great about these drinks is that all of them have both caffeine (roughly 1-2 cups of coffee per drink) and alcohol (1-4 beers per drink).  And the best part is that they are generally very cheap, ranging from 1-2 dollars per can.  This is the perfect thing to start your day, and also helps with hangover relief too.  

That's it for this segment, but keep checking back for whenever I get less lazy and post the next episode in this segment, where I tackle the lunch and afternoon cocktails section.  

xoxo

Joe

On the road again

Well, 56 hours, and over 3400 miles later, I'm back in the wonderful sunshine state.  I'm currently sitting in my apartment drinking beer on a monday night, because the semester wrapped up the day I left for the road trip.  Speaking of the semester, I ended up with straight B's this semester.  Yay for massively underachieving in college.  However, I did get a B+, so that is good.  But it's not really good, because I really doubt anyone will care what grades I got in college when I'm writing a book or touring with a band.  But, I digress.

Lots of funny things happened on the trip.  Mostly, it consisted of a lot of driving, and a lot of eating, and a lot of pooping.  In fact, this seems incredible, but on I-65 entering Kentucky, within a mile of the state line, there is a 24 hour porn super store.  What is more incredible is that this porn store is located in the middle of a strip mall that was completely abandoned.  There are the remenants of stores throughout, but all have been abandoned for some time.  The only other thing that is still in business is the strip club (unfortunately, that was not open at 545 on a tuesday morning).  Anyway, to add to the sheer remarkability of this, 12 miles down the road, there is another porn store that is open 24/7, and that is also a former tourist information center.  

To be honest, there was a lot of funny stuff that happened.  However, my current busy schedule of drinking does not allow for much discussion of it.  So, I will bid farewell here and just conclude with:  Yes, I did have fun on my trip, thanks for asking.    More to come later.

xoxoxo

Joe