For some reason or another, I've gotten this question a lot throughout my life. Maybe it comes from being a pasty white kid. Maybe it comes from the fact that the things I'm most concerned about don't involve lifting weights, protein powder, and ending every sentence with "bro". Or, more than likely, maybe it comes from the fact that I'm the first one to make gay jokes about myself. But is any of that really relevant towards my sexual orientation? Nah.
I'm not offended by it really; in fact, I'd prefer that people asked and then knew I wasn't as opposed to going through life thinking I was. I just find it sort of amusing that because I'm secure enough in my heterosexuality to make cocksucking jokes galore, people assume that I'm actually serious when I say things like that. I mean yes, basing it of just words, it probably does seem like "oh well Joe just admitted to sucking cocks for coke". However, I don't do cocaine, so why would me sucking cocks be any more likely in the statement? I don't get it, but whatever.
It's not like I'm lacking the typical guy points either. My apartment is probably more messy than most guys I know. I have as legitimate opinions on sports as most other guys who see the light of day occassionally. I drink beer because I actually enjoy it. And, mostly, I'll objectify women just as much as most other guys. But, on the other hand, yes, I can quote Legally Blonde, drink Sangria, and openly admit to crying during Pan's Labyrinth and giving a microcosm of a shit about how I look when I leave the house in the morning.
So, in summation, I'm not gay, if anyone was wondering. I call it being well-rounded. Another question though: Am I offended by it? Not really.
hugs and anal,
Joe
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