I hope you perish

I don't like crazy/stupid women.

This applies to mostly crazy girlfriends.  Particularly crazy girlfriends that like to break into your apartment at 4:30 in the morning (not my crazy [non-existent?] girlfriend, mind you).  Generally, this kind of person is really not suitable to live with.  I had a crazy girlfriend once.  Thankfully she didn't drive though, so she really couldn't come over to my house.  This was a while ago.  Boy it sucks having to deal with someone who is legitimately batshit insane though.  I remember in particular, she used to do this thing where we would be in the mall, and we would both see a girl, and she would inevitably ask "what do you think of her?"  At this point, I had two options.  Option one included saying "no, you're way better looking and she's just GROSS," regardless of what she looked like.  This could go one of two ways (as it usually does with crazy girlfriends, and mostly unpredictably).  Either she would appreciate it (rare) or she would get wholly offended by it, especially if she thought she was uglier than said girl.  Then I would get called a judgemental raging cockmongler (or something similar, and less literate because she was kind of a retard).  The flip side was almost invariably worse though.  If I did answer affirmatively, on an extremely rare occasion, she would agree.  But, more than likely, this would spur "OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU ARE A RAGING CHEATING ASSHOLE I HOPE YOU PERISH."  That was a fun little paradox to play with.

One of my friends though has a crazy girlfriend too.  She actually kicked him out of their house on Saturday night.  And then he left to come to my apartment to crash, at which point she decided to show up at my apartment, at 4:30 am, to kick him out of MY apartment.  Crazy shit.

I think it's fitting that my 50th post was a dumb, irrelevant post about silly ex girlfriends.  

xoxo

Joe

Update:  Oh how ironic my life is.  She got arrested last night for criminal mischief hahahahahahahahah.   I love me some me.