I'm wasted as my time spent sitting idly by

G'day.


Yeah, I fucking used it. That's how us Outback employees work. God, I can't imagine how much fun I'm going to be having sounding like some wage-slave jackass like "g'day lake nona outback my name is Joe how can I help you". Really guys? G'day? I mean, yeah okay, I get it. You're trying to be a pseudo Australian themed restaurant, it's cute. We have to wear safari shirts too like a bunch of touristy jackasses. Isn't the G'day thing just taking it a touch far?


Anyway, I spent last evening pondering a lot of things while reading some fucking horribly contrived and wordy epic poem that makes no sense that I care to actually try and figure out. This was one of those poems (or so they are called. I've never figured out why the fuck anyone would classify 5 quintillion pages of garbage as poetry) where I honestly read the whole thing and completely forgot what I read less than 10 seconds after I finished. Isn't that just the most frustrating thing ever?


No. But I have determined what is. Missing class is practically a requirement of college, but the most frustrating thing ever is actually trying to catch up on what you missed in class from a fellow classmate. I mean, it really shouldn't be that bad, provided you aren't a total recluse in class, but the worst is asking someone what you missed and getting the standard lazy response: "you didn't really miss anything, he just went over some notes, and did a power point, and told us everything that would eventually be on the test, and then stripped in front of the whole class while masturbating to a blown up picture of Bob Barr". Great job. In the words of Matt Leinart's beer bong, you just suceeded at being less informative than Sarah Palin. I didn't ask for a general summary of the goings on of the class, I actually wanted to know what was taught while my drunk ass was busy passed out and shitting his pants with a non-working air conditioner.


Music rules. For the most part. There are some really awesome bands and groups doing really creative and/or fun and/or exciting shit out there, and those are the bands that I love to talk to people about, and introduce people to. But, the bad has to come with the good, and like all bad things, boy do I enjoy making fun of the prodigiously bad shit that people are attempting to pass off as art. I mean, there are some really easy bands to pick on, but that's kinda like trying to beat up a little kid; there is no fun in the lack of challenge. So I'd rather pick on some of the slightly more credible bands, and specifically, how bad lyrics can really ruin a song. I'm an english major, and as such, a total lyric nerd, so lyrics actually do mean quite a bit to me when I'm deciding if I like a song or not. So, here is a completely not complete list of exceptionally bad lyrics I've heard from all bands, big and small.


"Alone in my room with a bucket full of phlegm/I don't need a music scene to tell me who I am"
Wow so. This first one is a doozie. On top of being the most criminally-overrated ska band ever, Tom Kalnoky was so woefully inefficient at writing anything that was supposed to convey some sort of complex emotion of any kind when he wrote the lyrics to "Day In, Day Out". I mean. Fuck man, chill out with the Nirvana-esque teen-angst thing. I mean, okay, you're trying to be rebellious. I get it. But fuck man, plenty of bands are capable of writing even marginally passable angsty lyrics; this is just Alanis Morrisette bad. At least Tom would redeem himself with his work in Streetlight Manifesto.

"Your apathy comes with a price tag after all it seems."
"No one flag flies over the multi-national company/No allegiance to the board's homeland, fellow citizens, the flag born of their country/As the brainwashed nationalists move/To shed their blood on battle fields/War profiteering rich watch their stocks reap high yields."
Anti-Flag is one of those bands that could concievably be seen as an easy target for making fun of bands lyrically. But. They are just way too proud of their ignorance for me to ignore this shit. Really guys, come up with something that doesn't sound like you are desperately trying (and failing) to achieve middle school levels of song writing.

Anyway, I'm going to reheat some fried rice and watch college football today. Going to get stomped by Miami this weekend, fuck yes.

Tata,

-Joe