Scream your head off for the sake of screaming more

So I'm sitting on campus, being one of the self important dickheads eating up time on one of the library computers doing something completely unrelated to academia in any shape or form. I used to get really pissed when I watched people doing dumb shit on the computer when my laptop was broken at the beginning of the year, and right now, considering all of the computers are full, I'm fairly certain there is someone eyeing me with disdain because I'm sitting here cranking out a completely irrelevant and vapidly self-aware ironic-sort of intro to an unotherwise unrelated blog. In fact, that big block of text is arguably one of the most pointless excercises in wordy pretention that I think I've ever written. The only thing I can think of that was probably wordier and said less was my entire final paper for my Comp 2 class in college.

In fact, I'm fairly certain that paper could act as a metaphor for my entire academic career post-junior year of high school. Literally, I had known of this paper from January when the class started. So naturally, I forgot all about it until 3 days before it was due when I got to class and realized that we had to turn in our topics that day. To be honest, I cannot remember what my topic was for the life of me. I'm sure it was something really dumb. In fact, I can't even remember if it had to be related to literature at all. Who knows. Anyway, I started researching this paper roughly 36 hours before it was due (we needed 5 in-print sources), started writing it about 18 hours before it was due, burnt through the night, only to finish it 20 minutes before class, and to arrive at class 12 minutes late to turn it in.

I got a 96 on this paper.

What's funny is that I literally continue this pattern for every assignment I have in college. I haven't legitimately done homework more than an hour in advance in probably 2 years, and for some reason, I'm still hauling around a better GPA than I had in high school. Not that I'm really bragging, because I'm almost upset with the fact that everyone made college out to be the end all and be all of my future, and I kind of just can't bring myself to care about a system that prides itself on repetition, memorization, and following the antequated thought processes that it does.

College has pretty much become an acting class for me. I spent all of last semester in a world lit class, participating more than anyone else, and not having read a fraction of what we were supposed to read. It's so easy to half-ass your way through classes that have very little to do with any sort of applicable skill, and classes that are built so systematically that they don't even require thinking. I'm convinced that once you figure out the basic idea of a lit class, there is no need to even read. All of the works follow the same predictable theme, and even the "unconventional" is still linear. Just because a book is old, shouldn't automatically mean that it is good.

I realize this sounds like the pretentious bitching of someone who shouldn't be an English major in the first place, but isn't the point of English to break the rules? No one who was ever a truly great writer merely followed formula. It's the exceptional writers that make original work. The one's who break rules, and defy conventions, and throw all of the pre-determined ideas of what is important that do great things. Learning about deconstruction in my theories of lit class is probably the most ironic situation that I'll ever find myself in. Because for all of the worrying about the opressed minority, we certainly don't do shit to actually read what they had to say.

xoxo

Joe

Having a nonworking backlight makes for some interesting texts

So, I don't have any insightful observations tonight.  Just two stories that kind of made me lol.  

1.  So I'm planning a road trip to Chicago on the first week of May.  One of my friends decided she wanted to come, but I lost her phone number.  I told her to send it to me in a facebook message, which she did.  However, I was bored and waiting to help my friend move, and as such, checking facebook on my phone with a nonworking backlight.  So I plugged the number into my phone and shot her a text, but she never responded.  So tonight, I'm sitting here downloading fetish porn and eating a salad when I decide to double check the number.  Of course, I sent the text to the wrong number.  What was the body of the text, you ask?

"RYAN THERIOT IS A COCKSMOKING HOMOFAG"

In case this went right over your head, my friend is a diehard Cubs fan, and Ryan Theriot (who plays for them) is essentially her god.  I dunno why either.  But alas, I'm just praying that some old person got this text message and is slowly contemplating the remainder of their life.

2.  My roomates all suck (see the "you'll never get out of this apartment alive" post).  I have gotten so fed up with them that I can't even tolerate to be in the apartment with them anymore.  Anyway, they like to go out late at night to various fast food places (or just the freezer to get one of those ridiculous hearty man frozen dinners), and bring back their bro-fuel (or just launch it in the microwave), and then leave the sewage all over the living room table.  The other day, it got to the point where I physically couldn't stomach the piles of garbage in our living room.  I used up  four thirteen gallon trashbags removing the broesidue, a bottle of Fantastick, half a roll of paper towels, and a vacuum cleaner filter.  And, while I'm doing all of this, no one offers to help or says thanks.  Instead, one of my roommates, in a worried tone goes:

"you're not having a party or anything tonight are you?"

Which almost made me explode as much as coming in from work today to find a fucking PAPER PLATE on the living room table.  I'm almost thinking I should invest in a garbage can to put right in front of the couch, although I'm pretty sure one of them would break it much like the dining room chairs.  

xoxo

Joe

The women and the cavier

Anyone who says that Ludacris is more of a objectifying misogynist than the Beach Boys is clearly out of their mind.

I say this mostly because I'm disappointed.  Disappointed in the fact that there are still people who are around my age that are so closed minded that they can't accept hip-hop as a legitimate form of music.  Arguments include "they don't play real instruments," "they only sing about bitches and money," and "you can't spell CRAP without RAP LOLOLOL." 

While all of these arguments made by assnecks in Drowning Pool shirts and JNCO jeans are obviously well informed and articulate, I can't help but get completely pissed off when hearing some of this.  The point that irks me in particular is the idea that "they only sing about bitches and money."  Not only is this completely assbackwards (much like their chromosome order), but it's completely ignorant of the fact that rock bands sing about similar shit all the time.  

Sure, a lot of mainstream rap songs focus on objectifying women and what not (take your pick from pretty much anything that my sister listens to), but look at one of the most popular songs of 2006-2007--"Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry.  Now, I'm not advocating that fucking Buckcherry should qualify as a prime example of talented music that still objectifies women (much the opposite, I find Buckcherry's success disturbing and appalling on an entirely superior level), but no one can really deny the fact that this was one of the most ridiculously popular songs of the past few years.  And not for nothing, a huge chunk of the fanbase included the same idiots who act all pseudo-offended by mainstream hip hop and bitches and hoes and tricks and what not.  

But even the fucking BEACH BOYS objectified women.  A group who is considered one of the most musically innovative of all time (mostly for Pet Sounds, but still), and they wrote some songs about bitches, hoes, and cars (not necessarily with that wording).  I mean, "Girls on the Beach" is about creepishly staring at girls tanning.  "Little Duece Coup" is about how bitchin' Brian Wilson's fucking car was.  "I Get Around" was literally about driving said car around, looking for new places to be awesome at picking up girls.  Sound familiar enough to "Pimpin' All Over the World?"

xoxo

Joe

I hope you perish

I don't like crazy/stupid women.

This applies to mostly crazy girlfriends.  Particularly crazy girlfriends that like to break into your apartment at 4:30 in the morning (not my crazy [non-existent?] girlfriend, mind you).  Generally, this kind of person is really not suitable to live with.  I had a crazy girlfriend once.  Thankfully she didn't drive though, so she really couldn't come over to my house.  This was a while ago.  Boy it sucks having to deal with someone who is legitimately batshit insane though.  I remember in particular, she used to do this thing where we would be in the mall, and we would both see a girl, and she would inevitably ask "what do you think of her?"  At this point, I had two options.  Option one included saying "no, you're way better looking and she's just GROSS," regardless of what she looked like.  This could go one of two ways (as it usually does with crazy girlfriends, and mostly unpredictably).  Either she would appreciate it (rare) or she would get wholly offended by it, especially if she thought she was uglier than said girl.  Then I would get called a judgemental raging cockmongler (or something similar, and less literate because she was kind of a retard).  The flip side was almost invariably worse though.  If I did answer affirmatively, on an extremely rare occasion, she would agree.  But, more than likely, this would spur "OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU ARE A RAGING CHEATING ASSHOLE I HOPE YOU PERISH."  That was a fun little paradox to play with.

One of my friends though has a crazy girlfriend too.  She actually kicked him out of their house on Saturday night.  And then he left to come to my apartment to crash, at which point she decided to show up at my apartment, at 4:30 am, to kick him out of MY apartment.  Crazy shit.

I think it's fitting that my 50th post was a dumb, irrelevant post about silly ex girlfriends.  

xoxo

Joe

Update:  Oh how ironic my life is.  She got arrested last night for criminal mischief hahahahahahahahah.   I love me some me.  

Just a bit of news

I'm writing a full length album.  It will be hopefully recorded sometime early next year at the latest.  Supporting cast: TBA.  More details to come.  I'm going to start documenting some of the songwriting process when I get a little more solidified.  

xoxo

Joe

It's the home of police who kill black boys on mopeds

Lately, it seems life has tried to cast a very dark cloud over our lives.  Not necessarily mine, although a recent trip home seemingly worked hard to stamp out any last smoldering ash of optimism in my life, but over everyone.  It's miserably cliche to recite the laundry list of shit going on in the world right now, but it seems like the world is coming apart at the seams.  

Personally, I had to put my dog to sleep after he developed some weird neurocies.  I came home to find out that not only was our house for sale, but that my parents were short selling it to pay back various debts.  We were served with court papers twice in the same week for various shit dealing with the house (almost entirely due to this miserable recession).  And, to top it all off...MY DAD HAS A FUCKING FACEBOOK.  WHO DECIDED TO KILL FUN ON THE INTERNET FOR ME?  SHEESH LIFE IS SO HARD!

In general, it just seems like everyone is losing their minds.  People are worried about getting married at 20 and everyone seems to be running around like they are in the ocean covered in chum.  Everyone is staying in on Friday and Saturday nights to study and worry about what's coming after college.  Everyone seems to be panicking like college is going to be the most make or break part of their life; like whoever they are currently dating has to fit into the mold of a perfect partner because oh my god that is the ONE and god fucking forbid a relationship fails ever.  Everyone is freaking out like it's the end of the world, and to be honest, I'm not exactly the most collected person either.  

But the more and more I think about it, the more I know that in the end, we'll all be okay.  We're going to make it through the shit, just like everyone made it through before.  Maybe it will be a bit of a humbling lesson to everyone.  And hopefully, more than anything, it will be a lesson that there are much worse things in the world then having to kill a dead end relationship, or getting a C in some class from a third tier state university.  

And in the end, we'll all be okay.

Neglecting this like a first born

So it's been a while. I don't have anything in particular interesting to say. I'm eating cold pizza and sitting with my cat, enjoying the last 45 minutes before I have to drive back to Brolando and go to work at 5:45. I spent this past weekend at Harvest of Hope, which was pretty great suffice it to say. There is nothing like waking up drunk at 8 am, to fall out of your tent face first into a pile of dirt. Mmmm. Tastes like fucking victory.

Anyway, I've begun to realize something about going to shows. Maybe it's the fact that I'm slowly getting older, but I'm finding out that more and more, I hate some of the people who still go to shows of my favorite bands. Take Against Me! for example. They use to be this tiny little band that everyone thought sucked, until they put out a popular album, at which point everyone exceptionlessly thought that "the old stuff was better". Nevermind the fact that when Reinventing Axl Rose was released in 2000-whatever, everyone thought it sucked harder than a coked out hooker. Now they have good production and shit, maaaaaan. Gotta hate them. They sold out because, somewhere, between the ages of 17 and 30, they changed their mind. They decided that, as valiant of a fucking effort as it was, they couldn't deal with trying to play shows for free and what not. And who could fucking blame them? If you could make a living doing what you love over what you're forced to accept as a suitable alternative, you'd be crazy not to do it. It's not selling out people; it's growing up.

Needless to say, I just hate hearing people vehemently trash a band's music while they are sitting right there watching them. I feel like if you can't at least put aside your personal gripes for the songs they are playing, then don't watch them right up at the front. Go towards the back, drink your hipster beer, and talk to your friends about the good old days when x-band didn't suck. Different strokes for different folks, and I understand that, but don't ruin other people's good time just because you aren't having a good time. Then no one wins. I don't like to hear whining about music I'm enjoying while I'm enjoying it, just as much you wouldn't want me up there, standing with my arms crossed and bitching about how I hate the old stuff.

I'm only 20, but I swear I was in crowds with 10 year olds this whole weekend. Bitchy, whiney 10 year olds who can't cope with the fact that SOME bands get bored of playing songs that they have played for upwards of 10 years now.

I know this wasn't exactly the most positive, upbeat entry or anything, but it's something I had to get out there. And...get excited for more posts from now on. At least over spring break.

xoxo

Joe