SOONER or later, the Gaytors will go down

haha, funny right?

Man do I intensely not like the amount of hype that Florida gets. Anyway, here's something interesting. My friend John and I started this website where we're going to document stupid things people do that affect our lives and other funny minutia. Check it out. It's not fully 100% yet, as we still don't really have the weirdo wordpress thing figured out, but when it is, I'll repost the link. Keep checking back for updates because that's probably going to be where I post a lot of the more widely accessible funny stuff. As if I'm funny or something -_-.

http://www.whysodumb.com

I have my own seperate section, but until we link all the pages together, just go there for the most part. Until that happens, expect all regular posts on here.

Anyway, continuing on, today was the beginning of another semester of third-tier state university education for me. Unlike last semester when I had all my classes on Tuesday and Thursday, today I only had 2/4 classes. These classes, ideally, were separated by an hour and a half window which, as hard as I tried, was unable to be filled with anything. So I should have an hour or so break between classes, which I'm sure I'll use to an overwhelming extent to do homework. However, after leaving my apartment at 20 til noon to try and find parking, I ended up getting to class like a minute late because of the inherent clusterfuck with UCF parking. In this minute, I determined a few things:
1. Our professor was not there
2. This class looks like it will be thoroughly torturous
3. We were not going to be in class for more than two more minutes

After my class got out at promptly 12:03, it occurred to me that I was 2 hours and 57 minutes away from having another class. After the initial bout of anger, I killed time and made it to my intro to hospitality course (a 1000 level class, pretty much all freshmen). In this, of course, because it was a mostly freshmen class, we were required to do some idiotic ice breaker where the other half of the room would have to come over, pick a partner, and learn shit about them like name, hometown, major, and "what would you do if you knew you could never fail". Of course, because this was a freshman class at a third tier state university, all of the answers sucked, a lot. Some people tried to be funny and failed. Some people tried to be deep, and bombed. Some people tried to be honest, and their answers were still either shitty or cliche. Now I realize that it seems like I'm casting unfair judgment, but here is why I will provide a list of some of the worst answers that I can actually remember. No order really, just whatever comes to mind:

Cure cancer/aids-
This was a big one. Even if your life has been affected by cancer and/or AIDS, this is merely a bullshit cop-out for an answer. Plus, in the grand scheme of life, cancer and AIDS need to exist. This isn't the fucking notebook, and not everyone can just die of natural causes (Which cancer sort of is anyway, but I digress). Just a dumb predictable answer that says to everyone "I'm boring and unexceptional and trying to not look like a selfish twat".

Take a cross-country road trip-
This was actually one that the fat bro who picked me used. Granted, he tried to avoid it at first, but not wanting to look like a total tard in front of a class of nearly 70, I immediately picked one that, if nothing else, was at least worth a chuckle. He however, came up with nothing. In fact, just to save his ass (and look like a sharp witty brat, as well) I was just going to say "He says that if he could do anything, it would be 'shit, I don't know what to write'". Because maybe half the class would have gotten it, and that would have been like iridescent paint under a black light telling me which members of the class to consider as human beings with a functioning brain stem. But no, instead he picked "take a cross country road trip". Firstly, unless you're a bleeding imbecile with very little skill for forward planning (especially ironic in a hospitality MANAGEMENT class), I think it's pretty difficult to fail at driving across the country. Really, as long as you have enough money, you can solve just about any problem that comes up along the way. Regardless, that was his answer, and it instantly made me feel like a flailing dick for having to read that outloud.

Scuba-dive-
Of course the bitch from Maine would say this. Now, not to say that there aren't plenty of ways to fail at scuba diving (getting the bends, running out of air, rubbing against fire coral, etc) because there are, but none of these things are very common at all in terms of people actually doing them. In fact, scuba diving really only has a couple of things to remember. One, keep breathing constantly and don't hold your breath. Two, don't shoot straight up to the surface. Three, don't touch anything that is red and/or moving. If you do that, I'm pretty sure you're fine. It's really NOT that hard. If this is the ONE thing you would do out of literally anything in the world, you are really wasting that get out of jail free card aren't you?

Be a psychic and a race car driver-
Wow, epic fail attempt at being funny? Hey dude, I know you're new to this whole college thing, but your Ren and Stimpy brand of humor was kind of not funny when you started it in middle school. Grow up a little and make jokes about dead hookers or something.

Be an NFL coach (girl saying this)-
Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights. Ha ha! Yeah, this is just me being a dick and being upset that no matter what class I'm in, apparently it has to talk about feminism in some way or another. Sad panda.

Rob a bank-
Cool, so now instead of finding out the hard way that you're a materialistic whore, I know without ever having to say a word to you. Thanks for saving me the trouble.

Kill Sarah Palin-
Not funny Joe, that's just creepy. Stop bloging and attempting to be funny and failing. Everyone laughing? Yeah, it's probably because what you said rly disturbed them. Oh well!

Anyway, more from the State University Circus to come later. Go Sooners?

xoxo

Joe