New Years shenanigans

Well hello, fellow cocks and vags.

It's officially a couple days after new years, meaning that I've been a lazy bastard and haven't updated worth a hell since Tuesday. However, in my defense, New Years was pretty phenomenal this year, which lead to me feeling like a giant bag of ape piss for the past few days. New Years for me currently carries more obligations than just partying to ring in the new years: I also have two close friends who have their birthday on January 1st. For one of their celebrations, we decided collectively to do the Waterford Wobble. For this, it involves going to each bar inside of Waterford (which is like a big shopping center thing in Orlando, for those unaware) and having at least one drink. Note: there are 18 bars inside of Waterford, including Chuck ee Cheese. And while we didn't make it to ALL 18, mostly because of the fact that it was new years eve and many of them closed early, we did put a pretty significant dent.

All in all, the WW was a great time, minus the injuries incurred. I had already had a sprained foot, and all of the walking just made it consistently worse over the course of the night. Combine this with being the victim of one of those treacherous "lol someone get in the shopping cart so we can throw it into a curb" deals, which lead to a beautifully bruised kneecap (which, in retrospect, probably should have been a broken knee cap), and being the victim of a botched attempt at a piggy back ride, which culminated in landing on a curb. Thankfully though, my lower back was there to break my fall. You know.

After ringing in the new year with probably some of the most piss cheap champagne I've ever tasted, our group of shenanigan causers caught wind of a large party with lots of alcohol and shitty local bands, so that was obviously a no brainer. At one point during this party (which might have been a lot better if we had gotten there before 2 am), I found a group of two girl. One of these girls was attractive, and the other was very very fat. However, the fat one had weed, and while I don't personally smoke, I do know of two friends who were really desperate for weed that night, and as such, I made it my personal goal to try and flirt the weed out of this girl. Needless to say, even my stratospheric levels of drunk charm didn't play out as I had expected. Here it also became apparent that no matter how much I drink, I'm still not the stupidest person on the planet, and I say this because of one person I talked to while I was there. This person was a reasonably cute girl holding the typical red solo cup filled with some intoxicating substance, and up until this point, and intelligent and engaging person. Our conversation went as follows:

Her: I'm excited! Tonight is my night to celebrate!
Me: Oh really? Why is this?
Her: Well, I just found out that my liver disease is in remission
Me: ...

Now, to put this in terms of AIM emoticons, my face looked kind of like this: 0.0

Yeah, apparently though, I really made no attempts to cover up this face, as I was then called a "judgemental dick" and was told that I didn't "understand" and as much as I tried backpedaling and tried to get her to explain why I didn't understand, this just caused the waterworks to be brought out in full effect. Needless to say, at this point, I began to realize that my night at least, was winding down.

Waking up the next morning was one of those surreal moments that you only see in movies. I woke up and immediately started panicking because I was contrained by sheets and pantsless. Immediately, in my hungover stupor, I thought that I was kidnapped. Sweet.

Needless to say, successful evening, minus all of the injuries. But now, it's time for a bit of a break. Regular coverage of "Who gives a shit events in Joe's life" will continue, probably tomorrow, while I'm not looking forward to starting class on monday.

xoxo

Joe