What will I be like when I get old?

I hope I'll still be just like I am now. Not necessarily unchanged, but not succumbing to the weird ailment of aging like so many people around I see.

As the days continue to pass on by, I've watched people come and go. In retrospect, 20 years is not as long as I once thought it to be. I can remember back 10 years ago to my 10th birthday actually and it doesn't seem like it was really all that long ago. To think that I've double in age since then, and that I'm charging towards 21 with an alarming speed, is really a little frightening. Even more frightening is how fast people my age are barreling towards full fledged adulthood.

I feel like I'm one of the few people in my generation who's even aware of what's going on. I'm one of the few who is paying attention to the fact that our days of irresponsibility are all numbered, and I'm one of the fewer who seems to be not charging headlong into it. I'm not in a committed relationship. I'm not looking for a committed relationship (although I'm not opposed to one, either). I'm not thinking about the possibility of having children, and, on a much heavier note, I don't have children (which is more than I can say for a lot of my coworkers). I'm not looking forward to the idea of marriage, and chances are, I probably won't get married. To me, these things aren't comfort or safety; they're obstacles. None of my goals and dreams revolve around anything routine, so for me, children, family, wife, growing up, and steady jobs just don't appeal. I'm not the white picket fence type to say the least.

It seems as if I'm one of the few of my generation who doesn't want this, and it seems that I'm the only one who is absolutely opposed to these things prior to the age of 30. I find it particularly perplexing about how anyone around my age is willing to settle down. I'm wondering where anyone gets the feeling that they've seen it all after a few months/years of being on his or her own. I'm pained to see people moving so fast at such a young age.

Has everyone around me failed to realize that you only experience your twenties once? Has everyone also failed to realize that the divorce rate (which generally hovers between 40-50%) doesn't discriminate? The person you feel like you couldn't be possibly better suited for is just as likely to cheat on you with a group of transsexual prostitutes/get tag teamed by the gardeners as the couple at the table next to you. Human relationships are dynamic and volatile things. Making a pact in terms of absolutes like marriage immediately changes the dynamics of the relationship, whether or not anyone wants to admit it. And to the argument of "well this is the best person I've ever met, or could imagine meeting", I ask if it's impossible to have something unimaginable happen? Because really, how perfect will your puppy love relationship seem when the unimaginably better person comes along? And how unimaginable did it seem that you would fall in love to such an extent in the first place?

This is a call to my generation: Wake up, and realize that what you have will eventually be gone. Whether it's your age, your health, or your spouse. I don't mean to sound pessimistic and jaded, but 6 billion people on Earth doesn't mean you should be glued to one for your whole life. Marriage, as well as relationships in general, do nothing but to limit the amount of people and things you experience as a singular person. I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live, but I can't possibly understand how fulfilling a life is where you're fooling yourself into thinking that what you have is perfect. Sometimes, we all need to be a little selfish. In closing, I leave you with a mildly out-of-context quote. The meaning of it here is essentially the same though.

"Why should you need someone else to invent your happiness?"-Chuck Klosterman; Downtown Owl

xoxo

-Joe